Last But Not the END

There is an old Chinese proverb, “there is no feast in the world that does not end finally”. Although we have been enjoying the feast very much so far, and no matter how long the feast will take, we have to face an end of it. This is exactly how I feel now when writing this final post for the module. The module has been very enjoyable and it has given me much more than I had expected. It is sad to see how time flies and we are already near an end of it. Although an end of this course, it is also a new beginning for every one of us, where all that we have acquired from this course will continue to be applied.

When I flipped back to the course schedule, I realized how much I had learnt thus far from this course: active listening, nonverbal communications, the 7Cs in writing, interpersonal and intercultural communication skills, recording minutes of a meeting, designing an effective survey questionnaire, designing simple and sweet graphs, writing business correspondences, writing academic research report, designing professional resume and cover letter, conducting oral presentation and etc. Besides all above topics, the course has covered most aspects of both oral and written communications through numerous class exercises and interactions.

Of all the aspects, one of the most significant improved for me throughout this course is written communication. Never have I written so many essays, including some that I had never heard of before. In that sense, the course has helped greatly me in conquering the fear for writing professional writings and in building my confidence in written communication. Through writing survey questionnaire, research report and resume as well as cover letter, I have gained a deeper understanding of how a professional writing should be composed. I will constantly remind my self the 7 Cs while writing, although I might still not be able to recall exactly what the 7 Cs are. Besides in class discussion, blogging also plays an important role in improving written communication skills. Through blogging we have a chance to know more about classmates and interact with each other by commenting.

Though still a little bit too early to conclude, I would really like to express my appreciation to the lecturer, Brad, for giving such an impressive and interactive course. I have learnt numerously from him, especially in intercultural communication, in oral presentation and in writing the resume and cover letter. Covering so many topics, the course does not appear to be boring or information deluging at all because of him.

And I shall never forget to thank two beautiful ladies, Sea Ming and Xiao Tong, for being very helpful and tolerating for the research report. I had great time working with them. We will definitely give the class our best presentation tomorrow as a conclusion of our group effort.
I shall also express my thanks to my blogging group and the rest of the class for giving constructive comments.

Biodata

Miao Baoqing, 22 years old, currently pursuing a degree (Hons) in Applied Mathematics with minor in Economics at the National University of Singapore. Born in a small underprivileged village in China, I have always been striving hard and challenging myself in hope of a better life. As such, exploration of the vast world beyond my small village of origin has been crucial to me. So far, my path of exploration constitutes stepping out of a poor village to the urbanized cities and receiving a full scholarship in Singapore. Though a pure science student, I have numerous other interests, such as philosophy, social sciences, literature, arts and etc. Through my passion for traveling, I gained broader perspectives of this diversified world. I am an eager and quick learner. Courses in the university have equipped me with effective communication skills. Intensive training in mathematics has also fortified me with an instinctively analytical, critical and logical problem solving ability.

Reflecting on the Research Project Experience

To begin with the reflection, I have to confess that this research project is one of the best and most enjoyable group research projects that I have ever done in my life, although there are not many such projects in it. Never have I had such chance to thoroughly learn to do such a formal, professional and carefully designed research and write a report with something I have never heard of before, e.g. a letter of authorization, letter of transmittal. Nor have I had chance to play with a very useful surveying tool---surveymonkey, to gain statistical data. Not to mention the well coordinated teamwork and good interpersonal relationships built among the group which provided the high moral for the team and thus made the research enjoyable.

Seldom have I had chance to do a research project, either group based or individual, because of the nature of the course I am doing, -mathematics. The structure and formatting of the research as well as the written report are quite unacquainted to me. Besides, the use of proper, formal and professional English language is also a weakness to me. Indeed mathematics itself is a beautiful language that does not need other languages to explain. Moreover, English is second language to me and writing a professional essay is something I have been trying for a long time. It just frustrated me sometimes when I read other people’s essays. Through this research and writing of the report, I had a chance to practice and learn from Sea Ming and Xiao Tong many tiny details that made things perfect

Being a good team player and building good relationships are also among the main achievements of this research project for me. Both Xiao Tong and Sea Ming are very patient, responsible and cooperative. I am very happy to have them in the same group to do the research project together and I learned a lot from the two girls.

Setting an agenda and recording minutes for every meeting made every meeting of full use. Deadlines and workloads were clearly distributed among three of us and we always tried to finish them on time. Communication played a crucial role in the process of the project. We always kept everyone informed of any change or refinement, through emails and cell phones.

This research project so far has been very enjoyable. I hope our team spirit and moral would continue to inspire us for the rest of the project. No matter what the grade would be, something more important is all that I have learnt from the process which will remain to be useful for a long time in the future.

Don’t Touch Me!

Culture, defined as the full range of learned human behaviors, is one of the deterministic factors of efficiency in interpersonal communication. Inter-cultural communication occurs everywhere in our daily life. Communication pattern deviates enormously between different cultural and sub-cultural groups. Therefore dealing with inter-cultural communication properly and efficiently is a great challenge for all of us. Understanding and therefore resolving intercultural communication conflicts is peculiarly crucial.

This June, when I was traveling in Xinjiang (part of the silk road where I traveled all the way along), there was a typical group of people from different countries: two from China, one German, one from the Netherlands, one Swedish, and one from Switzerland. The Swiss lady, who was a banker back in Switzerland, had this special joy of exploring, sharing and most importantly, criticizing, in a ironic manner, with all travelers in the hostel, the funny stories and conventions she found on the streets of a foreign land everyday.

One night, the group of us went out to the streets for dinner. As we were to cross the streets (horrible streets with non-stopping cars where foreigners would never dare to cross at first), a car suddenly came out of nowhere. And then suddenly I heard a desperate scream behind. Oops! Somebody got hit? It turned out to be that Swiss lady. It was not because of the car that suddenly ran towards us, but because a Chinese girl grab her arm to avoid the car while crossing the street. The Chinese girl was just doing what was normal in Chinese culture: to help each other while needed in the case, because the Swiss lady was a foreigner. However, the Swiss lady got so terrified and angry, because in her perception, intimate touching between people might be a taboo, or at least very rarely used. As a result, the two ended up misunderstanding each other. The Chinese girl thought that the Swiss lady was very picky. What seemed to be weird to her might just be very normal in other culture. At the same time, the Swiss lady blamed the Chinese girl for not respecting her way of “no touching”.

Obviously, an inter-cultural conflict had risen in this case. People from different cultural background behaved differently and reacted differently to different seigniors. A deep understanding of cultural differences is needed for both the two involved in the above case.

(This is a side thought which is beyond the topic of this post:
This reminds me of an interesting tentative, that the more developed and urbanized a culture is, the less intimating touching such as holding hands between its members there will be. From my perception, industrialized westerners are generally believed have less body contact than the rest, i.e. Asians, Africans and South Americans. Even in a single culture, city citizens are more protective than people from the country side.)

Neglect Does Not Create Harmony

Neglect Does Not Create Real Harmony
This Wednesday, during lunch in canteen, I met a close friend whom I had known for almost 5 years. We were chatting about recent livings, and suddenly, he told me that he was a gay or bisexual. I was very shocked and amazed. Most of us here are raised in a comparatively conservative environment that is very different from that of west. Homosexuality, or even simple sex education, are very uncommonly seen in homes and societies. Homosexuality is particularly a taboo subject in most Asian societies. Although being such a highly internationalized and integrated country, Singapore’s social culture is still towards conservative and orthodox. Therefore, topics concerning homosexuality are hardly mentioned in any form of governmental or social media.

However, neglecting the topic of homosexuality does not mean homosexuality is not an issue here in Singapore. Homosexuals are often seen walking around us, on the streets, in shops, everywhere in our life.

“In Singapore, beyond a reasonable doubt, there is a good population of homosexuals and transsexuals. However, the society in general is not receptive to issues relating to homosexuality. This caused many gay people to relocate to countries like Australia, Britain and the United States. As many gay people are artistically inclined, we are losing a good number of talented individuals as well.”
(ST Forum Page, Aug 2, 2006 How to keep youth rooted to Singapore)

Being a very pragmatic government, Singapore sets most of its policies on a realistic basis. However it imposes a much harsher policy towards homosexuality. Mr Lee Kuan Yee once stated that, as long as the homosexuals, i.e. gays and lesbians, do not harm any other people in the society, they are relatively not a subject to be discussed for the government. On the other hand, the Singapore law still states homosexuality as a criminal offence, especially the very famous Section 377A (”Outrages on decency”):

“Any male person who, in public or private, commits, or abets the commission of, or procures or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of, any act of gross indecency with another male person, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 2 years”
(http://statutes.agc.gov.sg/non_version/cgi-bin/cgi_getdata.pl?actno=1872-REVED-224&segid=888373002-001939#888373002-002615)

(The famous Section 337A has been subject to a great discussion in year 2007. There are some interesting stories regarding homosexuality in the following websites which I am sure most people will be very interested:
http://www.keep377a.com/Default.aspx
http://theonlinecitizen.com/2007/10/nmp-siew-kum-hong-turn-our-backs-on-prejudice-discrimination-intolerance-and-hatred/)

Whether being a heterosexual or homosexual is not a choice but a very innate property of people. However, the social acceptance of this conservative society to homosexuality is still under doubt. Many people, including the governors are not tolerative enough to homosexuals. There was a case in which a lawyer was charged even when he had consensual sex with another man, in a bedroom. Because the other man was the complainant, he was not charged. Therefore to know the degree of people’s acceptance towards homosexuals is the most important purpose of this survey research.

Besides social tolerance and acceptance, awareness about homosexuality is also a challenging topic. How much do people know about homosexuality? What are the differences between heterosexuality bisexuality and homosexuality? Why are there homosexuals? Are they scaring? Can sex orientation be persuaded and learned or are they innate? Therefore the measuring of the awareness of homosexuality among Singaporeans is another central topic of this survey.

Another possible research topic is the feedbacks from homosexuals in Singapore, including their own attitudes towards their sex orientation, their conflicts with heterosexuals, and their situations and so on. However, it will be difficult to collect data for this topic because firstly, a lot of homosexuals are hidden from most of us. Secondly, whether they are willing to give information is also an underlying problem. In addition, this topic is still very sensitive and too aggressive results may not be allowed to publish.

When people think of racial harmony in Singapore, they will be proud of this and will consider the racial policy in Singapore is very successive. However, there is a survey result published in the newspaper that shows the opposite. Most people, especially students, despite the fact that being raised in a multi-racial and multi religious environment, they know very little about other races and religions. They simply neglect them and do not talk about these topics in daily life. However, is this true social harmony?

The purpose of the report is to reveal most Singaporeans’ awareness, tolerance and acceptance towards homosexuality and to provide some possible suggestions for government to consider when they deal with homosexuality. People’s attitudes towards homosexuality will be an important message for their policies.

Hypothesis: Most Singaporeans know very little about homosexuality and they are not tolerative enough to accept homosexuas in public.

Problem Statement: The purpose of this research is to find out the acceptance level and releveat knowledge of Singaporeans towards homosexuality and possbilely the feedbacks from homosexuals in Singapore.

Purpose Statement: The objective of this report is to find out issues or conflicts that exists in policies and social attitudes towards homosexuality in Singapore and provide some possible suggestions for sloving them.

Hey you, pick up the damn phone!

Interpersonal conflicts are very commonly seen in every aspects of daily life. Some people do not even realize there is interpersonal conflict even though the conflict is actually happening. Some try to do something to eliminate the conflict while others just sit there and have no idea how to deal with them. Solving interpersonal conflicts effectively is one of the most important components of effective interpersonal skills. To me personally, being able to solve interpersonal conflicts brings better interpersonal relationships, less frustration and brighter mood everyday. However, life sometimes just does not work out the way we want it to be. Here is a real story between my ex-roommate and me that really troubled me for a long time and I would really like to share it with the rest.

I have a friend whom I have known for three years. We lived together in a double room in our second year of university. We are doing the same major and had a lot of courses together. We used to be quite close after spending a whole year of living together and cooperating in study. Everything seemed to be fine except that sometimes when I called him, he just did not answer the phone. After hearing some other friends’ feedbacks, it seemed that it his habit to ignore other people’s phone calls At first this really irritated me but then I feel relieved when I heard the feedback because it did not just happen to me.

Then there came an extreme case where I was totally lost. During the summer vacation he went overseas for a summer program. We were supposed to check in to the new hostel by a fix date but he could not return on time. Therefore he passed me his matriculation card before he left. One night before the day he returned to Singapore, he emailed me asking me to check in for him the next day. There was only one sentence in the email and the exact timing of his return was not mentioned. I had a part-time job to do the next day. When I checked my cell phone during lunch break i received a miss call from him and a message saying that he was back. He was looking for me to get back his matriculation card so that he could check in during office hours. When I called back several times, there was not response at all.

When I rushed back later that day, skipping dinner, hoping to return matric to him earlier, I called him a few times. Again there was no response. When I called again three hours later, he finally picked up the phone. He told me that he was just with another friend who stayed a few rooms away from mine and he did not notice the phone ringing. The manner he spoke seemed to me that he did not care at all.

I was really sad about this and felt sorry for him. What should I do? I could not control my anger and feeling of being disappointed. How should I deal with people with such habits?

Important!

Foreigners coming to Singapore for the first time may be shocked at the way the locals communicate. The following is an interesting case that highlights the Singlish ‘language’ of a typical Singaporean and his values.
(In a bootfel Steam-boat Rest-torant)
Ah Huat: "Why you so Kiasu? Take so many. After can take again what"
Ah Poh: "No lah, if don't take now, after no more already"
(source: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/1156/singlish2.html)
This is an example that presents a very unusual, unique culture strand to foreigners as they cruise around Singapore. This brings us to the topic of this post: Professional Communication.

How do we communicate effectively with people with different cultural values? How do we deal with people who speak in a language foreign to us? How to please your boss and maintain good rapport with your colleagues at the same time? How to write a scientific research paper or formal business letter? All of the answers to the above questions will require effective communication.


Is this communication?

What is communication? Communication is the process of conveying information from a sender to a receiver with the use of a medium in which the communicated information is understood by both sender and receiver (Wikipedia). Why do we need communication? This is crucial as we human beings, are social creatures. We cannot live without understanding one another, cooperating, socializing and building bonds with other individuals in society. At the start of our every day, we have to convey our choice of breakfast to the heartland hawkers accurately to have our order taken correctly. At school, we have to be tactful and engaging in company of our peers. We have to be cautious not to send wrong signals such as that of disinterest but warm the hearts of our lecturers. In hope of getting the best food, we try and build good rapport with the canteen vendors. Sometimes, upon returning home after a long day, some of us are faced with the challenge of how to best handle the endless naggings from our elders. Communication plays an important role in all of these activities. For as long as we live, we are obligated to communicate.

Effective communication, as its name suggests, is therefore an essential component in the developing interpersonal effectiveness, in both formal and informal aspects, written or spoken, verbal or nonverbal situations.

As an undergraduate in a university who would be graduating and joining the workforce soon, the ability to communicate effectively and professionally becomes very crucial to write a scientific report, produce an impressive resume and give a confident, good presentation of yourself to the interviewers. Communicating effectively is a life-long necessity that, even after securing a job, plays a key role to career success. This might include giving a professional business presentation, working effectively in a team and resolving conflicts in the office.

Being an individual in diverse society with a population of 6 billion people, one has to build efficient networks in order to be successful. Good interpersonal skills will greatly help in building strong bonds with others in the society. Success is not only measured monetarily but also includes strong and good relationships with the people around oneself, which would generally include one’s parents, spouse, friends, colleagues, and children.

As a frequent traveler and backpacker myself, effective communication has special importance to me. In traveling, people from all over the world are most definitely to cross paths with one another. To be able to communicate effectively with these people of all different cultural backgrounds is an important skill too. The exchange of ideas, thoughts, and life stories as well as to be around one another harmoniously only becomes possible when communications are effective. Effective communication which would also require understanding and mastery of nonverbal cues such as body language could also help one communicate with another who speaks a foreign language.

All in all, effective communication is not only important at the workplace but also important for social networking. To be able to communicative effectively is a life-long skill that everyone should practise throughout his life even after understanding the principles governing it through courses like ES2007S.